Olivier and Marco - and so I Travelled to Europe
Post date: 2008-12-04
After my 4 year relationship ended with my boyfriend Ewan, I dragged my sorry butt around feeling sorry for myself for months. I remember thinking I would never find another man to notice me the way Ewan did. I thought I would never fall in love again; I was depressed and hid out at home.
My older sister came over one day, smiled at me and said, “ I know it may seem hopeless now, you’re probably heart broken and devastated, but there will be others. You’ll see”
I couldn’t believe she could say something so ridiculous; Ewan was the love of my life!!!
I did however discover the computer and started chatting online with men all around the world. I “met” Marco in Italy, Jean-Paul in France, Shaun in Ireland and Glen in the UK. I even flirted with one man in Australia! I enjoyed flirting with all of these men online and wrote back and forth with all of them regularly. It got to a point where that was my only excitement of the day and I would rush home to check my emails.
Amongst all the men I met online there was one young man that was very persistent, I rarely gave him the time of day as I was 24 and he was only 19 yrs old but when I was bored, he was ALWAYS available for a chat.
The funny thing was that he was actually one of the most mature guys I spoke with. He had good insight, listened intently and we actually shared a lot of intimate details with one another. I remember being shocked to hear that he was still a Virgin! He was an American in the Air Force, which I found exciting but again, he was only 19 and living in North Dakota so I found that part about him incredibly boring. The time came when I decided enough was enough and I was done with my hiding out. It was time for adventure again. Other than my 19 yr old chat buddy, I didn’t tell anyone else, not even my mother that I had made up my mind and was going to travel to Europe!
Within a week, I began researching flights, and travel packages. I hooked up with Sherry, a girl from work who had also recently broken up with her boyfriend and we decided to travel together.
About a week before I left, I shocked everyone with news of my impromptu trip to Europe and even finally told all of the men I had been chatting with that I would soon be in there own native country! I had a knot in my stomach the whole flight into the UK and wondered what it would be like meeting these “strange” men. Would they be very different from all the Canadian men I had dated????
I quickly learned while in London that nope, they weren’t very different at all. Both Glen from London and Shaun from Dublin were going to meet me in London on different days and of course, neither one of them showed up! Cowards. They turned out to be all talk! I left Great Britain with Great Disappointment in regards to those men. I was also disappointed after getting into a big argument with Sherry in London Square. I fought with her for not wanting to go out and visit the local pubs or any of the dance clubs. She was so dull. I did however get to enjoy all the yummy Brits I got to gawk at while visiting all the "touristy" places. I got to visit Buckingham Palace, the Tower of London, Big Ben, Westminster Abbey and left with tons of cheesy souvenirs and photos. I even spent some time in a Fish n’ Chips place flirting with the local wildlife for a couple of hours. So, in the end London wasn't an entire loss and damn, how I loved that sexy British accent.
Off to France next to meet Jean-Paul where I was sure to be captured by the allure and romance of Paris! Sherry didn’t really have any interest in meeting the locals and got extremely sick on our way into France. I was tired when I arrived and I remember riding in a bus to my hotel. It was raining, Sherry and I weren’t talking and my heart ached to be in Paris with my ex boyfriend Ewan. Still feeling somewhat let down by men, I didn’t notice I was traveling alongside the river Sienne, nor did I even notice the beautiful architecture until I saw “it”. It was raining and I was blankly looking out the window of the bus when I spotted it. Various buildings covered it and I saw just the tip of it at first, but then I saw it a bit more and a bit more until finally, we turned a corner and there it was in all it’s glory.
I was speechless. Nothing could have prepared me for the magnificent structure that was…the Eiffel Tower. I felt a lump in my throat, my eyes and nose burned a bit and I cried a little. Yes, I cried. All of my life I had seen the Eiffel tower in movies and in photos and here I was looking at in REAL life. All of the heartache and pain I had gone through in my childhood had almost convinced me that I would never get to view such real beauty. Almost as if I had never been deserving enough to experience something I had only ever read about or dreamed about. Only “normal” people got to travel and see such things, not me!!! At that moment, I forgot all about old Glen and Shaun who hadn’t shown up in London and I silently wept in the back of the bus by myself. I didn’t know it at the time but I had just begun another chapter in my book of life and discoveries around men.
So, I met my online Frenchman, Jean-Paul in Paris AND his girlfriend, that’s right his girlfriend. Oh and his friend he brought along to throw in my path. I was pissed off at first but as the night went on, I really got to know the friend that Jean-Paul had brought along and started thinking things were gonna turn out quite well actually. His name was Olivier and he was incredibly cute. I ditched Jean-Paul and his chick and spent the rest of my time in France, seeing the sights with Olivier. He held my hand and spoke to me in that incredibly romantic French accent. I had the time of my life.
I saw the Louvre, the Arc de Triumph, and the Moulin Rouge and finally came the day when Olivier took me by the hand and led me to the Eiffel Tower. The elevator was rickety and scary and I held on to him tightly because I was SO “frightened”. Well no, not really but it worked like a charm. We went alllll the way to the top and the adrenaline rushed through me. Here I was at a place I had only dreamed of, one of the most romantic places in the world and I was with a European man. My heart pounded. I was in awe of how much of Paris I could see from up here.
As we stood there together, quietly, Olivier suddenly took me by the shoulders and gently turned me around so I could look into his eyes.
His French accent killed me, “jur ice are sew bewtifool,” he said to me as the wind blew through my hair.
My God, I couldn’t believe this was real. I closed my eyes so he could kiss me and all I felt was the wind blowing again before he gave me a gentle, little kiss on the forehead.
A kiss on the forehead?!?! What the fuck was that? I was expecting something hot and heavy!!!! I blankly stared at him. He just smiled again, turned me around to look out from the tower and he wrapped his arms around me. I stood there kinda confused but shrugged it off and just enjoyed myself.
That night we went to a dance club and after dancing the night away, he drove me back to my hotel and went on and explained how he had “strong” feelings for me but didn’t want to fall in love with a stranger he would never see again. So he hugged me tightly and gave me a kiss on my cheek. Hmph. “ What a rip-off” I thought to myself.
On my last day in France, we were very “huggy” with each other and he took me out for lunch. I told Oliver how much I had appreciated his company, how I couldn’t wait for him to visit me in Canada in one day and I left without every feeling his French lips on mine.
On the train into Italy however, I smiled at my little romantic interlude with this Parisian cutie and all I could hear in my head was, “ jur ice are sew bewtifool.”
Italy came and went but not without experiencing the Sistine Chapel, the Vatican City, the Roman Coliseum, the catacombs, the Spanish steps and of course the delicious Italian food, wine and MEN!
As soon as I got off the train in Rome, I saw the most beautiful man I had ever seen in my whole life. He was drop dead gorgeous and the men there just kept on getting better and better. To this day I don’t know if I have ever seen such “gorgeousness” again! I’m talking male perfection.
I remember meeting up with Marco in Rome. He was SO Italian! He met Sherry and I for a bit of sight seeing but she complained of being tired and wanted to go back to the hotel room. By this time I was really pissed off at her but I realized that Sherry was not on the same journey as I. She wasn’t there for the same reasons as I. I was on a new path of discovery and I wasn’t going to let my incompatible travel partner get in the way of that journey. After being in a four year relationship with Ewan, I was ready to let go and really have some fun. So we dropped Sherry off at the hotel and I left with Marco to enjoy Italy. I spent all of my time with Marco enjoying Italy; he was from Naples and showed me what the locals did and how different Italian culture really is from ours. I had SO much fun. On my last night in Rome, Marco took me out for a celebratory night!
We spent the evening drinking wine and dancing the night away. He took me to a fabulous Italian restaurant. We laughed and flirted like crazy; he was a singer and had the most incredible voice. He surprised me with a signed CD and he looked great on the cover! I loved listening to his Italian accent but by now I couldn’t even recognize my own accent. I had met and shared rooms with other English-speaking people on my travels but they were all Americans and Australians and I had started talking like them. I had been in England the longest, spent so much time with Olivier in Paris and now trying to make my way around Italy, my once “Canadian, eh” accent was some garbled French/ Italian/ Aussie/ New Yorken type of mush.
I continued to dance on though, not caring what I sounded or looked like. I was flying back to Canada the next morning at 9am but I didn’t give a shit, this was my last night in Europe so I partied away with Marco until about 3am!
By the time we left the dance club, it had started to lightly rain. It was still incredibly warm out so the rain was actually refreshing but Marco and I weren’t dressed for rain so I remember him taking my hand and we ran down the cobblestoned streets to his car. Just before reaching his car he quickly stopped, pressed me up against a building and kissed me. I closed my eyes and let this Italian stranger kiss me and feel me up all over. He kissed me and kissed me and I just let the rain come over us. I didn’t give a rat’s ass anymore and it wasn’t like I was going to sleep with him or ever see him again. I don’t know how long that kiss lasted before we were back holding hands and running in the rain again. Once more I was in a movie, a romance novel, running through the streets of Rome with a sexy Italian man after a night of wining and dining and it just didn’t seem real.
That night, after making out in his car, he dropped me off at my hotel but not before asking me to spend the night with him. We had barely just gotten to know each other; did he actually think I was going to sleep with him??? Well of course he did! Why not? I had given him every indication that I was going to. Even though all along in my mind I knew that I wasn’t going to sleep with Marco, I realized none of my actions displayed that and he left a sad, lonely Italian without ever getting his piece of Canadian ass. But hey, for the record, I didn’t get my piece of Italian ass either!
LESSON LEARNED: Humans are resilient and even though after a broken heart you may feel like you’ll never love again, the truth is, you will. You will. It is important however that you do things on your own again to discover what you are passionate about. After a long-term relationship ends, go out and re-learn what makes your heart sing. Be comfortable in your own skin and learn to love yourself unconditionally because despite different cultures and customs, men really are the same globally. I learned the men I attracted and how they treated me was largely determined by how I was treating myself at the time. I also learned to be careful of what my actions were telling a man. Are you letting him lead when really you want to rip his clothes off? Are you giving him all the signals that you want to sleep with him when really you don’t? Men don’t get hints. Ask for what you want. As for them, men are action oriented and if you really want to know what a man is saying, watch his actions. His words may tell you he wants you or he may promise you the world but when it comes to the “nitty gritty” believe his actions not necessarily his words and THAT is true, throughout the continents, sorry guys, you’ve been exposed!