Post date: 2008-12-04
Stop with the pressure!
The other day I was hanging out with this woman and we were talking about my business.
She knows exactly what I do - teaching guys how to really become master communicators and learn the art of attraction - but she had no idea that there are all of these wacky companies out there that teach pick-up terminology and teach you how to be something that you are not.
She could not believe that guys sit around and ask each other how to 'escalate sexually' the very first time.
I've always said it - but the way you 'escalate sexually' is by listening and talking to her. You engage her, and you smile at her. This is how you escalate sexually.
If she says something funny, you can lightly touch her arm. You don't have think to yourself, like a robot, oh she just did something. Let me touch her arm now. Okay, I touched her arm, now I need to lean in and kiss her.
It doesn't have to be this hard!
The reason why you make it this hard is because you just don't spend enough time developing and trusting yourself.
Granted, when I was first out there in the dating world at 18 or 19 years old, I was nervous as hell and always scared to death to go in for the kiss. Of course you're nervous - that's natural!
But I never looked for a manual that told me exactly when to go in for the kiss.
Instead, I learned and practiced and started paying attention to things. If you really pay attention to women, you'll know when she wants you to kiss her. If she's looking deeply into your eyes and smiling at you - absolutely you should go in for the kiss!
You don't have to sit there and think about when is the best moment for going in for the kiss. The fact is that you just have to be yourself.
A guy just emailed me, and he basically said, "I'm going out with this girl, she's really deep, she's really amazing, but how do I get her to like me?"
Hello! You just said it yourself: she's really deep and really amazing. How do you get her to like you? You have to be deep and amazing for her as well.
I've said it a thousand times: in order to attract amazing looking women, you have to learn how to be attractive to yourself. You have to learn deep inner confidence. You have to learn to love yourself before you can go out there and meet people.
If you don't love yourself and trust yourself, of course you're going to be neurotic in every situation! That's the way that things go and it's just the way you are.
Develop your inner confidence. Every product that I put out there has so many lessons for gaining inner confidence. I know that there is no shortcut in life.
Eventually, you're going to have to find a way to be comfortable being yourself. The most powerful version of you is the most comfortable version of yourself.
Learn who you are. Trust who you are. Along the way, start taking chances and risks.
If you see the outward signs that she wants to kiss you and you want to go in for the kiss, grab your balls and go kiss her!
Just try it. If you get rejected, who cares? If it doesn't work, it doesn't matter. No matter what I say and tell you, you're still going to have to get out there and try it.
You are going to fail, but you are also going to succeed.
But no matter what, you'd better start today!