Jealousy is Destroying Your Dating Life
Post date: 2008-12-04
It has been the same pattern in your dating relationships for years. You have never had a problem meeting someone new. That part comes easy. You are witty, intelligent, confident, a great conversationalist and have a pretty good sense of humor. All of this has given you a wide selection of dating partners to choose from.
But it never lasts. Somewhere down the road you decide this person is not for you or they decide that they cannot deal with you anymore. You have never lost the positive attributes which make it easy for you to get a date but there is another characteristic that makes building and maintaining the dating relationship a losing battle.
Jealousy can be an all consuming emotion. It can distort your perception to the reality in front of you like few things in this world. You go out on a date and your significant other sees someone they went to college with. They have not seen each other in a couple of years. They greet each other warmly but nothing over the top in fact your date goes out of their way to not only introduce you but make you an active participant in the conversation. There is no exchange if phone numbers or addresses; street or email. They met, reminisced and moved on.
No sweat right? Not to the jealous mind. Something tells you this whole thing was planned. It's just too much of coincidence that your date met someone they have not seen in years. Now the green eyed monster takes over and starts filling you with doubts, anxiety, fear and conspiracy theories. All wrapped up in neat bundle of rage.
Now comes the cross examination which you have turned into an art form. None of their answers satisfy you. From there the distrust for your dating partner starts to grow. Every time they see someone they know or talk on the telephone or are a couple of minutes late, the jealousy gets that much stronger.
There will be no more suffering in silence as far as you are concerned. They brought this on themselves and you will not be made a fool of. Your intensity gets more intense and constant. Some of your dating partners have argued back at you before calling it quits. Others just flat out disappear because they cannot bring themselves to tell you how much you have hurt them. The sad part is more than a few were ready and one hundred percent committed to building a relationship with you before your jealousy took over.
You may reflect on these broke relationships from time to time but the green eyed monster always gives you the "correct" answer: It's always their fault. But no one in a dating relationship can be right all the time. If you are alone again for the same reasons as always, then it may dawn on you eventually that the person looking back at you from the mirror should take a major portion of the blame.